“Speed Demon Scares His Kids!” reads the headline of an article published in this week’s Globe. The famously unreliable tabloid is claiming that Pitt’s children are “begging” him to quit his “need for speed” before he hurts himself. “The kids are desperately worried,” an unnamed “insider” says.
“It’s an adrenaline rush for sure,” the shady source goes on. “He’s sober now and has taken a Zen approach to living, but he still likes to get the heart rate up by tearing through the California canyons at a serious pace.” If you’re wondering why this is suddenly becoming an issue now, it’s apparently because “until lately, the children weren’t old enough to understand the risks he faces on the road.”
This story is just silly. Pitt’s own spokesperson told the tabloid that his kids are not worried about it. What really happened is that several days ago Pitt was spotted leaving Angelina Jolie’s house on a motorcycle, the first time he’s been seen there since their split.
While he’s undoubtedly been there already, the novelty of actually seeing him there – on a cool motorcycle, no less – has sent headlines flying. But Pitt’s children are not worried about him substituting alcohol with adrenaline. As per usual, this tabloid just can’t let the actor get on with his sobriety in peace. Kicking addiction shouldn’t be fodder for salacious tabloid gossip, but here we are.
You may not think think a middle-aged man determinedly working through issues in family therapy while working on being sober wouldn’t make for incredible tabloid gossip, but then you’re not The Globe. Somehow, the tabloid will always find ways to make up nonsense about Brad Pitt.
In February, the tabloid wrote that Pitt was making Jennifer Aniston choose between himself and alcohol. Pitt, an unnamed source said, “doesn’t want to be tempted” by Aniston, with whom he had supposedly reunited, “into that dark lifestyle he left behind.”
Last week Gossip Cop also shot down a story from the tabloid claiming that Pitt and Jolie were planning a family vacation together. The ex-spouses were supposedly trying to show off how cordial they could be to each other, an endeavor their so-called “pals” predicted would end terribly. But as ET Online had recently reported, “any communication between [Pitt and Jolie] is regarding their children’s needs and future.” They’re not trying to prove anything to anyone right now.