Burleson had questioned the former president, 61, about an interview the former first lady did last year in which she stated there were times in their marriage when “she couldn’t stand” her husband.
“People think I’m being catty by saying this — it’s like, there were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband,” Michelle said at the time. “And guess when it happened? When those kids were little.”
She continued: “And for 10 years while we’re trying to build our careers and, you know, worrying about school and who’s doing what and what, I was like, ‘Ugh, this isn’t even.’ And guess what? Marriage isn’t 50/50, ever, ever.”
“There are times I’m 70, he’s 30. There are times he’s 60 or 40, but guess what? Ten years — we’ve been married 30. I would take 10 bad years over 30 — it’s just how you look at it,” she added. “And people give up … ‘Five years; I can’t take it.'”
Asked about those remarks, the former president said, “Let me just say this: it sure helps to be out of the White House. And to have a little more time with her.”
Barack continued: “Michelle — when our girls were growing up, that was priority number one, two, three, and four. And so, I did not fully appreciate, I think, as engaged of a father as I was, the degree of stress and tension for her, knowing that not just I and Michelle were under scrutiny and in this strange environment, but that we were raising our daughters in a kind of situation that just wasn’t normal.”
“Now that they’re doing good, she is a little more forgiving of all my flaws,” the former president continued. “What she’s told me is, you know, ‘Looking back, you did okay as a dad.’ And if I passed that test, then she’ll forgive me most of my other foibles.”
The Obamas, who met in 1989 and married in 1992, believe they have subsequently worked through their relationship’s difficulties. In October, they will celebrate their 31st wedding anniversary.
In a 2018 interview with PEOPLE, Michelle spoke about the couple’s post-White House life, saying: “We have dinners alone and chunks of time where it’s just us — what we were when we started this thing: no kids, no publicity, no nothing. Just us and our dreams.”
However, the former first lady has been open about her disagreements with her husband, stating in an April edition of her Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast that their marriage has thrived despite two stints in the White House, two children, and two very different personalities.
“Barack wants to talk rationally, and I’m like ‘rational?'” Michelle told special guest and interviewer Oprah Winfrey in the podcast episode, sharing that she is more “hot-headed” than the former president.
“Don’t come to me with sense — I’m angry! Don’t come to me with your three bullet points — you better get out of here and let me cool down!” Michelle admitted to Winfrey that she believes a marriage should be a work in progress.
“I believe more of us have to be honest about the work that it takes to build a life with another person,” she said. “To me, it doesn’t seem like it’s that controversial.”